I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Found your dick twin last night
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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