I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
