billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
