I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
