shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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