Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
