Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
