i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He kissed a someone with a penis
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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