We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
