In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
