I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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