I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
