I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
vagina is talking i cant
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
