If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize