Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize