We won't sleep together?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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