we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
