Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
tell your sister to shave her snatch
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
