Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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