i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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