I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
