Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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