were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize