i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
