I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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