and she was petting her beer can
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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