I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
