between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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