This is not my ceiling
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
