Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize