he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize