NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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