dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
