I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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