the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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