Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
