i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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