Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
