i just google imaged poop.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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