You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
