Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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