You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
