She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
