You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
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