wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
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