matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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