She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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