i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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