so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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