This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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