There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
