Umm I'm too high to move.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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