very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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