i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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