whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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