therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
