and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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