True but thats because hes a fetus.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
