I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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